Four Useful Tips in Parenting
Learning Mindfulness to observe the ‘instant moment’ is a useful way for parents to handle pressure wisely in parenting, companion relationships or family life. By offering the following four tips in Mindfulness Parenting, we wish that parents may fully embrace the sweetness as well as the bitterness in children education with an original intention, compassion and empathy.
1. Always With Our Original Intenton
The impression of a parent to their children comes from the long-time interaction with each other. Once the child has made mistakes, we as parents may unconsciously tag them with the labels of ‘disobedient’ or ‘useless’. However, such labels have greatly limited our sight, we tend to fall into a stubborn and negative mode to evaluate our children. If we may thoroughly accept all elements in parenting and interactions with our children with an original intention, we will be able to give precious space for them to grow and make changes.
2. Re-connect Our Body
Physical reaction, behaviors and thoughts are interrelated with each other and are highly connected to the emotional state. When under pressure, we may only be able to automatically tune into the ‘Doing Mode’ to think of ‘what to do’, but hardly notice the overloaded negative emotions inside our body. The Mindfulness Practice does not only help improve our physical sensitivity, but also help activate the ‘Being Mode’ to take a closer look at, and recognize any emotions arise to take better care of ourselves.
3. Developing Compassion
Regardless of the causes of life pressure, hardship or any other reasons, negative emotions bring pain. At such difficult time, we should show more understanding and acceptance to ourselves and gently console our mind. We may attempt to look at ourselves and our children with curiosity and compassion. With a peripheral perspective to observe and react to negative mentality, we may have better understanding to our own need and that of our children, avoiding impulsive instinctive reaction.
4. Setting a Bottom Line
Acceptance and tolerance do not mean that we have to accept all behaviors carried out to reply to emotions. As parents, we should clearly realise our baseline, rules and values, and clarify them with our children. Establishing the baseline may allow our children to build framework of their life and realise that their parents would have looked after their own needs before being able to take care of others’.