No More “Automation” When Facing Pressure
Parents are usually exhausted with all sorts of life difficulties in which their priority concern is children or other family members, but neglecting their own physical and emotional status. It comes naturally that solving problems in life would drain up their energy.
When too many things are adding into the to-do list in life, parents may become more sentimental and make instant reaction without understanding the real need of their children, which is acting under "automation”. When under pressure or in emotional instability, some parents may yell or beat their children impulsively. In that case, not only parental relationship is harmed, but the majority of parent would be regret and self-reproach afterwards.
The "automation” under pressure has close connection with the survival modes that were born with us, that is to "Fight”, to "Flight” or to "Freeze” in danger. Those modes would be activated to keep us from any harm and damage, especially when our lives or people around us are under threat.
For instance, when our children intend to cross the road, our hand would automatically drag him/her back to prevent accident. However, such automatic survival mode may cause negativity in education, such as when we yell at our children to stop them from playing and get back to homework, the parent-child relationship and the well-being of the child would be affected.
Practising "Mindfulness” helps us learn to focus on "the instant moment” consciously and non-judgmentally. Through daily mindfulness practice, parents switch from "doing mode” to "being mode”. Before finding solution to any difficulties, we should observe the situation and children’s real need first, then choose the most appropriate reaction to establish a kind and harmony parental relationship.