Getting Away from Depression
There is a saying, "children are mirror of parents.” They reflect the attitude and behavior of their parents.
Many people teach their children in the same way that were duplicated from their parents. Time changes and life standard is more demanding and the child education is getting more difficult. For a mother suffering from depression, the challenge may even be bigger.
Lai Lan’s mother is a traditional Chinese lady who would shoulder all the burdens on her own. Lai Lan thought she had inherited the toughness from her mother that she could deal with all problems by herself. After experiencing two failed marriages and unexpected pregnancy, Lai Lan had to take care of her elder son for preparing the DSE and also suffer from financial pressure as she was not able to work due to pregnancy. Lai Lan still believe that she could overcome the all these difficulties.
Lai Lan’s elder son had always been a thoughtful and hardworking boy that gave her confidence about her education. But when it came to her younger daughter, she found herself getting lost in taking care of a newborn baby. She felt helpless no support from families. She was even depressed that her daughter was diagnosed as septal defect after she was born. All these things happened simultaneously made Lai Lan resulted in depression.
Lai Lan had lost control of her emotions when she brought her newborn daughter home. Lai Lan was then referred to The Wellness Centre (Tin Shui Wai ) of New Life Psychiatric Rehabilitation Association by the hospital. At the very beginning, the social worker could only made home visits as Lai Lan refused to leave home with different excuses. After understanding Lai Lan’s situation, the social worker referred her case to the Jockey Club Linking H.O.P.E.S. Project (Jockey Club Embracing H.O.P.E.S. Project) to help Lai Lan getting out of depression. However, Lai Lan refused to participate in activities with the excuse of taking care of her daughter when she firstly joined the project. With the unweaving support from other service users, Lai Lan kept being invited to different activities and finally she agreed to join them all.
Being affected by Lai Lan’s negative emotion, her daughter became short-tempered and easy to cry. Lai Lan was shocked when she saw her daughter throwing toys to express her anger. It was the way how she reacted to problems and her daughter had copied it without her notice. Through the mirroring effect of her daughter, Lai Lan realized that depression had not only affected herself, but also brought negative impact to her family. She decided to accept the treatment. She also tried Chinese herbal medication to improve her health condition and it worked obviously. Furthermore, she knew exercise can help to release dopamine to stabilize emotion, so she started to re-schedule more time on exercises.
Lai Lan’s depression was under control gradually and her daughter was getting more active and also more willing to communicate with others with her mother’s positive influence. She had registered as a peer support worker to establish a new target for her daily life after her daughter had started attending full-day kindergarten. She wanted to share her experience and to bring positive impact to people suffered from the same problem. More importantly, by doing so, she could speed up her recovery and this allows her to transform her experience from tragedy to a happy story. She had gained a sense of fulfillment from being a peer supporter by sharing her own story.
Lai Lan does not totally recover from depression yet, but now, she is having stable life and her daughter’s septal defect is recovering which brings her hope for the future. She even wants to be a full-time peer support worker so as to earn a better living for her daughter. Lai Lan, as a mother, wants to have a healthy and positive image reflected from her daughter and it would be her greatest achievement ever.